Photo By: Joseph Arkins

Information

Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist -
Certified Sex Therapist - Noted Author of Gay Books

Why did I become a psychologist? My initial motivation was to right the wrongs perpetrated by the psychiatric/psychological professions against the gay community. They said that we were mentally ill, that we were child molesters, that our sex was perverted, and that love between gay people was inconceivable. And they supported laws that jailed us for participating in consensual sex with other men. They claimed that we could become "normal" (meaning heterosexual) by submitting to years of psychoanalysis, or other forms of treatment such as injections of male hormones, because they viewed us as deficient men.

I thought their approach was wrong for two reasons. In the first place, I knew that trying to convert homosexuals into heterosexuals was doomed to failure. Secondly, I believed that the attempt itself was immoral and unethical. Psychologists and psychiatrists should have been helping gay people lead more productive lives, as gay people, not harming them.

Compassion and empathy are the lessons I learned as a therapist to the gay community for the past 30 years. Through experiences from my own life and from the lives of my patients over three decades, I've learned to chart the points of stagnation in the lives of gay people; the problems in coming out to family and friends, the travails in sorting out one's sexual desires, and the ambivalence of establishing an intimate and long-lasting love affair. While homosexuality is not a mental illness, it is also not a vaccine against the emotional problems of growing up in our society (See Forms of Treatment).

A therapist is not your friend, but he should be your ally. That's how I view my role; someone you trust enough to let through the boundaries of your life, someone to share your fears, your shames, and your desires in the knowledge that I will accept these feelings as proof of your search for happiness. These feelings are not weaknesses; they are human qualities that show one's caring and the search for love.

Office Location: 233 west 83rd street, NYC.


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